Distance is measured from the people talking. If you and I stand together, something near us both is これ, and something across the street is あれ.
Short answer: English has “this” and “that”; Japanese has three distances plus a question form. こ- words point to things near the speaker, そ- words to things near the listener, あ- words to things far from both, and ど- words ask “which?”. The same four beginnings build whole families: これ (this one), ここ (here), こんな (this kind of).
The whole system in one table
Learn the columns, and every row follows. Read across a row to hear the same pattern four times.
ko- (near me)
so- (near you)
a- (over there)
do- (which?)
thing
これ
それ
あれ
どれ
+ noun
この
その
あの
どの
place
ここ
そこ
あそこ
どこ
direction, polite
こちら
そちら
あちら
どちら
manner
こう
そう
ああ
どう
kind
こんな
そんな
あんな
どんな
これ or この: alone or before a noun
これ, それ, あれ stand on their own as “this one”. この, その, あの must be followed by a noun, like English “this book”. You cannot say これ本.
Ano hito wa dare desu ka.“Who is that person over there?”Why:あの: far from both. Pointing at people with あれ alone would be rude; use あの人 or あの方.
Here, there and over there
ここ, そこ, あそこ, どこ name places. Note あそこ, which has an extra そ.
こちら: the polite way to point
こちら, そちら, あちら, どちら mean “this way, that way”, and are also the polite way to refer to places and people. Staff in shops and hotels use them constantly; a host introduces a guest with こちらは….
Showing the way
Introducing someone
Asking where, politely
Which of two
そう: agreeing and reacting
そう means “so, like that”, and is one of the most frequent words in conversation. It agrees, reacts and keeps a conversation going.
こんな, そんな, あんな: this kind of
The こんな row describes kind or degree. そんな often carries surprise or mild disagreement.
こんなkonnathis kind of家iehouseにniin住みたいsumitaiwant to live
Konna ie ni sumitai.“I’d like to live in a house like this.”Why:こんな + noun.
Sono kekka, uriage ga nobita.“As a result, sales grew.”Why:そ-: pointing back to what was just described.
Check yourself: こ, そ, あ or ど?
Pick the right word, then open the answer.
Near you(holding a pen) ( )は私のペンです。Show answer
これ: near the speaker.
Near the listener(pointing at the listener’s bag) ( )は新しいですか。Show answer
それ.
Far from both(a building far away) ( )は何ですか。Show answer
あれ.
Which one?( )がいいですか。Show answer
どれ (of three or more).
Where?トイレは( )ですか。Show answer
どこ.
Pointing back in a conversation
In talk and writing, そ- words refer to something just mentioned that the listener might not know, and あ- words to something both people remember. Compare その店 (that shop you just mentioned) with あの店 (that shop, you know the one).