Japanese Word for Family: Yours, Then Theirs

Family: one word for yours, another for theirs

Short answer: Japanese has two sets of family words. When you talk about your own family to someone else, use the plain, humble set: 母 (my mother), 兄 (my older brother). When you talk about someone else’s family, or speak to your own relatives, use the polite set: お母さん, お兄さん. Brothers and sisters also split by age: older and younger siblings have different words.

The two sets side by side

Left: about your family, to an outsider. Right: about someone else’s family, or calling your own relatives.

My family	Meaning	Your family / addressing
chichi	father	お父さん otōsan
haha	mother	お母さん okāsan
ani	older brother	お兄さん oniisan
ane	older sister	お姉さん onēsan
otōto	younger brother	弟さん otōtosan
imōto	younger sister	妹さん imōtosan
sofu	grandfather	おじいさん ojiisan
sobo	grandmother	おばあさん obāsan
otto	husband	ご主人 goshujin
tsuma	wife	奥さん okusan
musuko	son	息子さん musukosan
musume	daughter	娘さん musumesan

Talking about your own family

Count your family with the people counter 人, and introduce each person with the humble words.

家族かぞくkazokufamilyはwa(topic)四人よにんyoninfour peopleですdesuis

Kazoku wa yonin desu.“There are four of us in my family.”Why: 四人 is よにん. The number includes yourself.

父ちちchichimy fatherはwa(topic)会社員かいしゃいんkaishainoffice workerですdesuis

Chichi wa kaishain desu.“My father works for a company.”Why: 父, not お父さん: you are talking about your own family to an outsider.

兄あにanimy older brotherがga(subject)一人ひとりhitorione personいますimasuthere is

Ani ga hitori imasu.“I have one older brother.”Why: Having relatives is expressed with いる: “there is one older brother”.

Asking about someone else’s family

Switch to the polite words for the other person’s relatives, and use ご家族 (your family) instead of 家族.

ご家族ごかぞくgokazokuyour familyはwa(topic)何人なんにんnanninhow many peopleですかdesu kais?

Gokazoku wa nannin desu ka. · “How many are in your family?”ご makes 家族 polite: “your honourable family”.

五人ごにんgoninfiveですdesuis姉あねaneolder sisterがga(subject)二人ふたりfutaritwoいますimasuthere are

Gonin desu. Ane ga futari imasu. · “Five. I have two older sisters.”B uses the humble 姉 for her own sisters.

お姉さんおねえさんonēsanyour older sistersはwa(topic)学生がくせいgakuseistudentsですかdesu kaare?

Onēsan wa gakusei desu ka. · “Are your sisters students?”A switches to お姉さん: they are B’s sisters.

いいえiieno二人ふたりfutaribothともtomoall働いていますはたらいていますhataraite imasuare working

Iie, futari tomo hataraite imasu. · “No, they both work.”ている for jobs and ongoing situations.

Aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws

Two sets again: plain for your own relatives, polite for someone else’s. Note おじさん (uncle) and おじいさん (grandfather) differ only by a long vowel.

My family	Meaning	Someone else’s
oji	uncle	おじさん
oba	aunt	おばさん
itoko	cousin	いとこの方
mago	grandchild	お孫さん
giri no haha	mother-in-law	お義母さん
ryōshin	parents	ご両親
kyōdai	siblings	ご兄弟

Family life events

The verbs and nouns for the big moments.

Describing a family member

Combine family words with age, job and character.

兄あにanimy older brotherはwa(topic)三つみっつmittsuthree (years)上うえueolderですdesuis

Ani wa mittsu ue desu.“My brother is three years older.”Why: 〜つ上 / 〜つ下: older, younger by.

母ははhahamy motherはwa(topic)とてもtotemovery優しいやさしいyasashiikind人ひとhitopersonですdesuis

Haha wa totemo yasashii hito desu.“My mother is a very kind person.”Why: Adjective + 人: a … person.

妹いもうとimōtomy younger sisterはwa(topic)大阪おおさかŌsakaOsakaにniin住んでいますすんでいますsunde imasulives

Imōto wa Ōsaka ni sunde imasu.“My younger sister lives in Osaka.”Why: 住んでいる for where someone lives.

Check yourself

Say each one in Japanese, then open the answer to check and hear it.

my mother (talking to others)
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hahaHumble word for your own mother.
your mother
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okāsanPolite word for someone else’s.
my older brother
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ani
your younger sister
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imōto-san
There are four people in my family.
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Kazoku wa yonin desu.四人 is よにん.
I have one older sister.
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Ane ga hitori imasu.Having family uses いる.

What people call each other at home

Inside the family, people address relatives by role, using the polite set, often with the warmer ちゃん: a child calls a big sister お姉ちゃん. Parents are often お父さん and お母さん even to each other once they have children.