Giving and Receiving in Japanese: Know Who Gives to Whom

Giving and receiving: あげる, くれる, もらう

Short answer: English has “give” and “receive”; Japanese has three verbs chosen by direction. あげる: I (or anyone) give to someone else. くれる: someone gives to me or my group. もらう: I receive from someone, marked with に or から. Add them to a て form and they describe favours: 教えてくれた, “they kindly taught me”.

The three verbs

The giver takes は or が, the receiver takes に.

私わたしwatashiIはwa(topic)妹いもうとimōtomy sisterにnito本ほんhonbookをo(object)あげましたagemashitagave

Watashi wa imōto ni hon o agemashita.“I gave my sister a book.”Why: Outward from me: あげる.

友達ともだちtomodachia friendがga(subject)花はなhanaflowersをo(object)くれましたkuremashitagave (me)

Tomodachi ga hana o kuremashita.“A friend gave me flowers.”Why: Towards me: くれる. “To me” is understood.

母ははhahamy motherにnifrom時計とけいtokeiwatchをo(object)もらいましたmoraimashitareceived

Haha ni tokei o moraimashita.“I got a watch from my mother.”Why: もらう: the giver takes に (or から).

Polite versions

With superiors and customers, each verb has a keigo partner.

Polite	Meaning	Plain
sashiageru	give (to a superior)	あげる
kudasaru	(a superior) gives me	くれる
itadaku	receive (from a superior)	もらう

Doing favours: て + あげる, くれる, もらう

Japanese routinely marks who benefits from an action. てくれる expresses gratitude; leaving it out can sound cold.

Polite and humble versions

Each giving verb has a keigo form depending on who is above whom.

Plain	Meaning	Keigo
ageru	give (to an equal)	さしあげる (to a superior)
yaru	give (to a pet, plant)	None
kureru	give me	くださる
morau	receive	いただく
te ageru	do for someone	てさしあげる
te morau	have someone do	ていただく

Favours in everyday talk

てくれる and てもらう show gratitude built into the sentence.

友達ともだちtomodachia friendがga(subject)駅えきekistationまでmadeto送ってくれましたおくってくれましたokutte kuremashitakindly took me

Tomodachi ga eki made okutte kuremashita.“A friend gave me a lift to the station.”Why: てくれる: a kindness to me.

先生せんせいsenseiteacherにnifrom作文さくぶんsakubunessayをo(object)直していただきましたなおしていただきましたnaoshite itadakimashitahad corrected (humble)

Sensei ni sakubun o naoshite itadakimashita.“My teacher kindly corrected my essay.”Why: ていただく: humble てもらう.

妹いもうとimōtomy sisterにnifor宿題しゅくだいshukudaihomeworkをo(object)手伝ってあげたてつだってあげたtetsudatte agetahelped (for her)

Imōto ni shukudai o tetsudatte ageta.“I helped my sister with her homework.”Why: てあげる: can sound like showing off if said to the person.

Talking about gifts

A short exchange about a present.

これkorethisよかったらyokattaraif you likeどうぞdōzoplease

Kore, yokattara dōzo. · “Here, this is for you, if you’d like it.”よかったら softens the offer.

えeohいいんですかii n desu kais it OK?

E, ii n desu ka? · “Oh, are you sure?”Polite hesitation before accepting.

もちろんmochironof course旅行りょこうryokōtripのno’sお土産おみやげomiyagesouvenirですdesuis

Mochiron. Ryokō no omiyage desu. · “Of course. It’s a souvenir from my trip.”

ありがとうございますarigatō gozaimasuthank youいただきますitadakimasuI accept

Arigatō gozaimasu. Itadakimasu. · “Thank you, I’ll gladly take it.”いただきます: humble “receive”.

Cheat sheet: who gives to whom

The direction decides the verb.

Verb	Direction	Example
ageru	I/we → others	友達に本をあげた
kureru	others → me/us	友達が本をくれた
morau	I receive from others	友達に本をもらった

Check yourself

Say each one in Japanese, then open the answer to check and hear it.

I gave my mother flowers.
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Haha ni hana o agemashita.あげる: I give to others.
My friend gave me a book.
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Tomodachi ga hon o kuremashita.くれる: someone gives to me.
I received a letter from my grandmother.
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Sobo ni tegami o moraimashita.もらう: I receive.
My teacher kindly explained it to me.
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Sensei ga setsumei shite kudasaimashita.くださる: respectful くれる.
I had my hair cut.
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Kami o kitte moraimashita.てもらう: have someone do it.

Thanking for a favour

Combine the favour form with ありがとう.

昨日きのうkinōyesterday手伝ってくれててつだってくれてtetsudatte kuretehelping me andありがとうarigatōthanks

Kinō tetsudatte kurete arigatō. · “Thanks for helping me yesterday.”てくれて + ありがとう: thanks for doing it for me.

いいよii yoit’s fineまたmataagain言っていってittesay

Ii yo. Mata itte. · “No problem. Just ask again.”Casual reply.

お土産おみやげomiyagesouvenirをo(object)いただいてitadaitereceiving andありがとうございますarigatō gozaimasuthank you

Omiyage o itadaite arigatō gozaimasu. · “Thank you for the souvenir.”いただく for a gift from someone you respect.