Use わたし (highlighted) until you know the situation well. ぼく and おれ are heard from men and boys; あたし mainly from women and girls in casual speech.
Short answer: Japanese has several words for “I”, chosen by formality and who you are: わたし is the safe, neutral choice for everyone. Words for “you” exist but are avoided in polite speech; Japanese uses the person’s name or title instead. And most of the time, pronouns are simply left out, because context shows who is meant.
Words for “I”
Choosing a word for “I” is part of how a speaker presents themselves. As a learner, わたし fits every situation; the others are worth recognising.
Word
Who uses it
Feel
watashi
anyone, any situation
neutral; the default
watakushi
anyone, very formal
speeches, business, apologies
boku
boys and men
casual, gentle
ore
men with friends and family
casual, rough
atashi
mainly women and girls
casual, soft
“You”: name first, pronoun last
あなた is the textbook word for “you”, but said to someone’s face it can sound distant or even rude, and between married couples it means “dear”. Use the person’s name + さん, their title (先生, 部長), or nothing at all.
田中さんTanaka-sanMr Tanakaもmoalso行きますかikimasu kago?
Tanaka-san mo ikimasu ka.“Are you coming too, Mr Tanaka?”Why:Talking to Tanaka: his name stands where English has “you”.
Onamae wa nan desu ka.“What’s your name?”Why:The polite お already shows the name is the listener’s; no “your” is needed.
He, she and they
彼 kare (he) and 彼女 kanojo (she) also mean “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, so in conversation people prefer the name or あの人 (that person). There is no common word for “it”: a thing is named, pointed to with これ or それ, or left out.
Plurals: たち and ら
Add たち tachi to make a person-word plural: 私たち (we), あなたたち (you all). ら is more casual or written: 彼ら (they). たち after a name means “and the people with them”: 田中さんたち, “Tanaka and co.”.
Leaving pronouns out
Japanese sentences without pronouns are normal, not incomplete. Compare the two versions: the first is natural; the second, with every pronoun spelled out, sounds like a translation.
Kinō eiga o mimashita. Omoshirokatta desu.“I watched a film yesterday. It was good.”Why:Natural Japanese: no “I”, no “it”.
私はwatashi waI (topic)昨日kinōyesterday映画を見ましたeiga o mimashitawatched a filmそれはsore wait (topic)面白かったですomoshirokatta desuwas interesting
Watashi wa kinō eiga o mimashita. Sore wa omoshirokatta desu.“I watched a film yesterday. It was good.”Why:Grammatical, but heavy. Use 私は when you introduce yourself or contrast yourself with someone else.
自分: oneself
自分 means “oneself”: myself, yourself, himself, depending on who the sentence is about. In Kansai, 自分 can even mean “you”.
自分jibunoneselfでdeby作りましたtsukurimashitamade
Jibun de tsukurimashita.“I made it myself.”Why:自分で: by oneself.
Tanaka-san wa jibun ga warui to itta.“Tanaka said it was his own fault.”Why:自分 refers back to Tanaka.
Polite ways to say “that person”
When talking about someone politely, Japanese uses a demonstrative + 方 (kata), or the person’s title.
Pronouns at a glance
Common personal pronouns by person and formality.
Word
Person
Formality
watashi
I
neutral
boku
I
casual (male)
anata
you
distant; often avoided
kimi
you
casual, to juniors
kare
he
neutral
kanojo
she
neutral
Check yourself
Pick the best way to refer to the person, then open the answer.
“you”?Asking your teacher if they are comingShow answer
先生も行きますか. Use the title, not あなた.
“I”?Introducing yourself at workShow answer
私 (わたし), or わたくし for very formal.
“he”?Telling a friend about your boyfriendShow answer
His name, or 彼 (which also means boyfriend).
“we”?Saying “we” in a presentationShow answer
私たち, or 我々 in very formal speech.
Family words work like pronouns
Inside a family, people address each other by role rather than by name or pronoun: a mother calls herself お母さん to her child, and a younger sibling calls the older one お兄ちゃん or お姉ちゃん.
お母さんokāsanMumもmotoo行くikugoよyo(telling you)
Okāsan mo iku yo.“I’m coming too. (a mother to her child)”Why:The mother calls herself “Mum”, as English parents sometimes do, but in Japanese it is the normal choice.
Oniichan, kore taberu no?“Are you going to eat this? (to an older brother)”Why:The younger sibling uses the role word instead of a name or “you”. の with rising tone is a casual question.